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I Miss Your Smile

150 150 Debi Moses

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

Okay, I’m just going to shout it from the rooftops, “I miss the laughs and giggles of my grandkids and kids.  I miss my back pew at church.  I miss my life-long friends, and since it’s true confession time, I miss my favorite coffee shop and my sugar-free vanilla latte, yet most of all, oh yes most of all, I miss your smile.”

Those simple upturned lips that signal a moment of recognition, excitement, and perhaps a fleeting memory. Your name may be a mystery to me, but you’re still part of my world.  We have passed in the aisles at the grocery store, the cleaners and perhaps even the pharmacy, but you’re no longer there.  As hard as it is to believe, I only don my lovely mask and gloves and join the world every two weeks. We might have missed each other along the way. It’s as if the world has been turned upside down, and it has. 

Yet here I am, with my life basically unchanged, sitting on the dock with my puppies gazing at the glorious sunset with a breaking heart. A breaking heart for lives that have been changed in ways I can never imagine.  Breaking for families who now have empty chairs around their table.  Breaking for the precious children of God who are living in homeless shelters or the street, hungry and falling farther and farther behind in school. Breaking for moms and dads who can no longer provide for their family because of lost jobs. Breaking for those of you who can only see your aging family members through a window. 

But in the heartbreak, there’s a time of thankfulness. Thankful for the brave men and women on the front lines, keeping us healthy, fed and safe, our world clean, and our hearts and soul healed. As I sit in awe of the gift of the sunset, my heart is joining with those of you who are kneeling in prayer, thankful you have survived another day wrapped in the Holy’s arms.

This is a time when the similarities of one’s path vary more than ever. Some of your lives may be like mine and my western loving cowboy, whose only bump on the road is rationing toilet paper, or watching the same TV shows over and over, despite having a choice of more than 300 channels. (All I have to say about that is someone in my house is a fan of the western channel.)

But through these days of confusion and emptiness, your compassion for one another is seen through the lessons we’re teaching our children as they write words of thanks to visitors who make deliveries to our homes in chalk on their walkways, or signs posted on apartment windows. Families are gathering on social media celebrating special time that might have been missed because of those trite words, “We were just too busy.” Cards and letters are being sent snail mail to forgotten ones in our lives while many are pitching in financially to share their blessings. Through all of this despair my heart is reaching out to each of you, and I feel your never-ending grace. Grace we’ve learned to grant one another through our twinkling eyes as we honor one another by wearing a simple mask or standing 6 feet apart. 

We all have our dark days, whether it’s the ones we are living now, the days that lurk in memories past, or in the times on the other side of a sunset that are yet to come. But the Lord is blessing us, His face is shining on us each day. His face is turned toward us each night, warming us with His glorious love. This is the serenity you feel when you gaze at a sunset, or perhaps as you close your eyes at the evening’s end and say, “Thank you for loving me Father.” I have peace knowing He will take care of you.  And one day I’ll see your smile again, and man oh man, my heart will sing.

Ponder with Me:

1. Do you miss anything?

2. Have you had dark days? Close your eyes and sit with the Holy.  Let His everlasting love wash over you.

3.  Do you truly believe God will take care of you? 

Let us pray together:

I love you Lord. My heart sings when I hear your name, your promises, and feel your grace.

I will never miss your smile, because it never fades away. You warm me with your spirit in the sunrises and sunsets. I am blessed to be your child.

Gazing  at your love.

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 I hope you’ll be my walking partner as I navigate my way through a life of whimsy, grace, and a lot of love for our Savior. You can read about my adventures on this blog, Wandering the Path, or if you’d rather, join me on my podcast Wandering the Path with Debi. 
 
And remember, as my Auntie used to say, “No matter how bumpy the journey, your path has already been cleared.”

Red Dirt and Pine Cones

342 271 Debi Moses

“I and the Father are one.”  John 10:30

For once we were listening when God stepped in, as our lives did a flip flop, and miraculously changed lanes. Off we went in a direction that had only been on our bucket-list of “maybe someday” and in the blink of an eye, “someday” had arrived.  One that was His next step in life for us but not exactly in our current scheme of things.  The land of our childhood had been calling our names, pine trees, red dirt and sweet smell as the seasons change in our native East Texas.  A home on a lake and a move from the hectic daily life back to our country roots had been on our list for years.  We would say things like … when we move to the lake … one day we’re going to find just the right spot and move to the lake … one day we’re going to get out of this traffic and be able to go fishing whenever we want, one day… You know the drill, you might have been there, or oh “wise one” know that your “one day” is exactly where you are now and are living in “your” moment.

So, with the volume of our hearts turned up so we could hear Him loud and clear, we left the highways and the bi-ways of the big city, and went in search of “home.” You know the spot where you feel a sense of belonging way before your address is changed, or the moving van emptied. It was as if the heavens opened on a spectacular fall Sunday guiding us among the pines to our “home.” And now with the boxes unpacked, a song in my heart and snuggled into my cozy bed, a new wake-up call cleared my foggy brain. It was my new friends “the ducks” taking flight over the lake, greeting me with their morning “Hello.”  This time of day is such a treasure, real life has yet to dawn and there’s time for those pesky scattered thoughts to scurry across my muddled brain. It’s like our puppies’ new best friends the squirrels, as they chase each other among the trees. It’s that time before my daily rhythm begins and a chance to ponder life, and even squeeze in a prayer or two. As my brain cells decided to rise and shine I cherished the peace in my heart and this time and this place. The glistening sun light bouncing off the lake was calling my name.  I threw on my comfy yoga clothes, grabbed a cup of Starbucks and slowly walked down to the sun- drenched dock. I slipped my sleep deprived body into my cozy chair and let the rays of the sun hit my face and realized it was God, not the lake, calling my name.  The sun kissing my face was the Holy One shining His gracious love for me on my tired cheeks.  As I closed my eyes I felt my Savior’s love rush over me and I truly felt one with Him. I’m at peace, let the squirrels chase themselves…  All is Well with my Soul, All is well.

Pray with me:   Holy One, open my eyes and heart so I may feel one with You as I walk my days, hear Your songs in my soul, and feel Your warm kisses on my cheeks.

Living in expectations.

Points to Ponder:

  1. When are you one with the Father?
  2. Have you found your special place?
  3. Are you aware when God touches your heart? How does it feel?